Last night, my wife watched a CBC documentary called Hyper Parents, Coddled Kids. This documentary aired just under a year ago and it really hit the nail on the head when it demonstrated that today's hyper-vigilant, hyper-indulgent parents are doing far more damage to their kids than they suspect.
I urge people, especially parents, to watch the documentary on-line to get a rude awakening.
I may sound like a broken record, but I say that this happened as a result of the fearful 1980s when all of a sudden, parents and "experts" in child care began to interfere with the normal growth and development of children in North America. Since then, parents all over the continent, especially middle-class and upper-class parents, have taken it upon themselves to actively monitor, interfere with and damage their kids because "an expert told them so".
As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
My wife told me that the documentary did not point the finger at all of those who are responsible for people like "fountain girl" and her generation.
They forgot to point the finger at all child experts who run interference in childhood. From pediatricians to child psychologists and child psychiatrists, and everyone in between, these people have prevented parents from doing what is instinctive in people: being parents.
If they have to use physical punishment, then they should, within reason. If they have to let their kids fail, then let them fail. Perhaps they will learn from their mistakes.
What is increasingly apparent is that there may be a correlation between the rise in autism and the hyper parenting that is done.
Could it be possible that without free play or 'normal' growth development, kids are not longer learning proper social skills, even without really being autistic? Could it be that because their lives have been so regimented and scheduled by over-bearing parents that they cannot socialize well?
Think about it.
From pre-birth to the time they enter college and university, today's kids have had their parents schedule their lives for them, make their decisions for them and even determine what their careers are going to be. Kids have no more freedom to be who they want to be.
And without facing the consequences of free play, where kids get bullied, hurt and shamed, they have no sense of empathy or right and wrong. Everything then becomes relative, there are no more rules that apply equally to everyone. Some become "more equal" than others.
I will leave with two paragraphs from the article accompanying the documentary that illustrate how extensive the problem is:
"Many parents take it upon themselves to fill out application forms and write the admissions essay on their child's behalf. Some even follow their pampered progeny right into the workplace - attending job interviews and even trying to negotiate salary and contracts."
"As the first batch of hyper-parented kids (Generation Y) emerges into adulthood, they do not seem to be quite ready for the real world. University psychologists report today's students experience higher levels of anxiety than any generation before them. And employers are pulling their hair out as Gen Y employees show up at work with an unprecedented sense of entitlement - 'Paying your dues' is not part of their vernacular. They require a lot of supervision and they challenge everything from dress code to office hierarchy."
For those who have come before this molly-coddled generation, this is bad news. Very bad news.
Not only do these kids feel entitled to everything, they are increasingly willing to commit crimes in order to get those things.
The upshot of this entire situation is that parents and experts alike are afraid of setting boundaries for kids and they are afraid of discipline. They are the two cornerstones of raising kids to be healthy, responsible adults.
All else is pure fantasy and hyper parenting.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Fountain Girl is the Poster Girl of her generation
Here's a good one that happened the other day.
Cathy Cruz Marrero was walking along and texting when she didn't realize that there was a fountain right in front of her so naturally, she fell in.
This was captured on a security video, which was most likely uploaded to a phone camera and then onto the web, where it went viral with over 1 million hits before the first day of release was over.
No-one could see her face, and even though it was funny to many people, the woman stepped forward, identified herself and then proceeded to seek legal redress for something that was her fault.
Had she not gone public with her identity, this story would have lasted around a day or two, then vanished. But no, she had to make more of a fool of herself and seek a legal remedy to what should have been better left alone. Now the world knows how idiotic she was and how the legal system can reward stupidity with what may amount to a monetary settlement, if it ever gets to court.
I hope that it never does and that she and her lawyer are charged with wasting the court's time on a very trivial matter. But that may not likely happen, since there are two things in her favour.
One: the US justice system rewards greed and stupidity in force, not because these things should be rewarded, but because corporations like those that run the mall where she fell have better things to do with their time and money than fight a frivolous lawsuit. So they often will settle out of court.
Two: because she is of that generation of twenty-somethings who thinks nothing of trying to get money for nothing so that she can live on easy street. At least until the money runs out, and nine times out of ten, most people who get large sums of cash usually go bankrupt during the first five years after receiving it. At least that is what happens to most lottery winners who go from rags to riches and never learned how to save.
Because she is of that generation, she also has the backing of her parent(s) who will make it their business to see to it that she cashes in on what should never have been an issue in the first place. The fact is that even as a toddler, you are taught that you have to watch where you are going, otherwise you may trip and fall or run into things.
Its elementary knowledge that we have eyes in front of our heads for a good reason, and that reason is not so that you can text away your life on trivial matters.
I'm glad that two things that have come from this incident.
One: that she wasn't driving and hit some pedestrian. Or that she didn't get hit by a car (though that may be debatable in light of her lawsuit).
Two: "Marrero says she'll never walk and text again."
Should she get anything from the courts, it should ideally be a reprimand and a warning that the courts are not there to teach common sense.
As such, I think that she is the poster girl of all that is truly wrong with her generation.
Cathy Cruz Marrero was walking along and texting when she didn't realize that there was a fountain right in front of her so naturally, she fell in.
This was captured on a security video, which was most likely uploaded to a phone camera and then onto the web, where it went viral with over 1 million hits before the first day of release was over.
No-one could see her face, and even though it was funny to many people, the woman stepped forward, identified herself and then proceeded to seek legal redress for something that was her fault.
Had she not gone public with her identity, this story would have lasted around a day or two, then vanished. But no, she had to make more of a fool of herself and seek a legal remedy to what should have been better left alone. Now the world knows how idiotic she was and how the legal system can reward stupidity with what may amount to a monetary settlement, if it ever gets to court.
I hope that it never does and that she and her lawyer are charged with wasting the court's time on a very trivial matter. But that may not likely happen, since there are two things in her favour.
One: the US justice system rewards greed and stupidity in force, not because these things should be rewarded, but because corporations like those that run the mall where she fell have better things to do with their time and money than fight a frivolous lawsuit. So they often will settle out of court.
Two: because she is of that generation of twenty-somethings who thinks nothing of trying to get money for nothing so that she can live on easy street. At least until the money runs out, and nine times out of ten, most people who get large sums of cash usually go bankrupt during the first five years after receiving it. At least that is what happens to most lottery winners who go from rags to riches and never learned how to save.
Because she is of that generation, she also has the backing of her parent(s) who will make it their business to see to it that she cashes in on what should never have been an issue in the first place. The fact is that even as a toddler, you are taught that you have to watch where you are going, otherwise you may trip and fall or run into things.
Its elementary knowledge that we have eyes in front of our heads for a good reason, and that reason is not so that you can text away your life on trivial matters.
I'm glad that two things that have come from this incident.
One: that she wasn't driving and hit some pedestrian. Or that she didn't get hit by a car (though that may be debatable in light of her lawsuit).
Two: "Marrero says she'll never walk and text again."
Should she get anything from the courts, it should ideally be a reprimand and a warning that the courts are not there to teach common sense.
As such, I think that she is the poster girl of all that is truly wrong with her generation.
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