Hyper Parents

Last night, my wife watched a CBC documentary called Hyper Parents, Coddled Kids. This documentary aired just under a year ago and it really hit the nail on the head when it demonstrated that today's hyper-vigilant, hyper-indulgent parents are doing far more damage to their kids than they suspect.

I urge people, especially parents, to watch the documentary on-line to get a rude awakening.

I may sound like a broken record, but I say that this happened as a result of the fearful 1980s when all of a sudden, parents and "experts" in child care began to interfere with the normal growth and development of children in North America. Since then, parents all over the continent, especially middle-class and upper-class parents, have taken it upon themselves to actively monitor, interfere with and damage their kids because "an expert told them so".

As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

My wife told me that the documentary did not point the finger at all of those who are responsible for people like "fountain girl" and her generation.

They forgot to point the finger at all child experts who run interference in childhood. From pediatricians to child psychologists and child psychiatrists, and everyone in between, these people have prevented parents from doing what is instinctive in people: being parents.

 If they have to use physical punishment, then they should, within reason. If they have to let their kids fail, then let them fail. Perhaps they will learn from their mistakes.

What is increasingly apparent is that there may be a correlation between the rise in autism and the hyper parenting that is done.

Could it be possible that without free play or 'normal' growth development, kids are not longer learning proper social skills, even without really being autistic? Could it be that because their lives have been so regimented and scheduled by over-bearing parents that they cannot socialize well?

Think about it.

From pre-birth to the time they enter college and university, today's kids have had their parents schedule their lives for them, make their decisions for them and even determine what their careers are going to be. Kids have no more freedom to be who they want to be.

And without facing the consequences of free play, where kids get bullied, hurt and shamed, they have no sense of empathy or right and wrong. Everything then becomes relative, there are no more rules that apply equally to everyone. Some become "more equal" than others.

I will leave with two paragraphs from the article accompanying the documentary  that illustrate how extensive the problem is:

"Many parents take it upon themselves to fill out application forms and write the admissions essay on their child's behalf. Some even follow their pampered progeny right into the workplace - attending job interviews and even trying to negotiate salary and contracts."

"As the first batch of hyper-parented kids (Generation Y) emerges into adulthood, they do not seem to be quite ready for the real world. University psychologists report today's students experience higher levels of anxiety than any generation before them. And employers are pulling their hair out as Gen Y employees show up at work with an unprecedented sense of entitlement - 'Paying your dues' is not part of their vernacular. They require a lot of supervision and they challenge everything from dress code to office hierarchy."

For those who have come before this molly-coddled generation, this is bad news. Very bad news.

Not only do these kids feel entitled to everything, they are increasingly willing to commit crimes in order to get those things.

The upshot of this entire situation is that parents and experts alike are afraid of setting boundaries for kids and they are afraid of discipline. They are the two cornerstones of raising kids to be healthy, responsible adults.

All else is pure fantasy and hyper parenting.